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No, I’m still writing them, although I haven’t updated How I died in a while, but if you or anyone else wants me to update that then I will if you inbox me, but for now I mainly update Change My mind :) xxx

Chapter 7

Heidi’s POV

It’s funny because when you find a common interest in a person you dislike, you find that you don’t actually dislike that person as much as you thought you did. In my case, when the person you dislike is a pop star, and that person starts acting like a normal person and a lot less like a pop star – you start to get to know the real person.  

You realise that if they weren’t always in the limelight, they would be an average teenager, like you and me. That they barely have any milk in the fridge, and they do have families that they miss and that must be hard on them and that they have power rangers duvet set (although I don’t think that’s a normal thing). Basically what I’m trying to say is that maybe, Zayn Malik isn’t the person I thought he was.

8 Hours Ago

“They’re really good!” I said, practically hypnotised by the band, Black Night.

“I know, they’re part of the reason I auditioned for the X Factor. They inspired me to pursue music, they’re what started my dream,” I look over to Zayn, to see that like me he was almost hypnotised by their sweet music. He looked almost child like in his daze, vulnerable even.

Although I’d never admit it, when Zayn had auditioned for the X Factor I caught a bit of his audition. And just like him now, I was almost mesmerised by his voice. I don’t know why ever started to dislike One Direction, I suppose I just do and that’s that.

“And now your living that dream!” I said and I have to admit, it came out a bit sarcastic, well a lot sarcastic.

“Yeah I am. I know you don’t like me, you made that pretty clear last time, but I don’t really care anymore. I’m here to enjoy the music, so believe it or not, not everything’s about you,” What he said itself didn’t sting it was more his expression. It wasn’t an angry one, or an annoyed one – it was a hurt one.

I’m pretty sure it was the face I probably made, back when I was in Year 8. Like I said before, I’m not easy to be around. I’m not ‘delightful and cheerful’ like my sister, I’ve been described more as ‘sarcastic and moody’ which is kind of true. I think it’s my cover up so I don’t have to let people in. I’ve realised in life people often let you down, that when you need them most they just end up not being there for you.

My at-the-time best friend Lexi let me down. She’d been my best friend for about 8 years, and then when we got to secondary school it changed. She got a better offer of friends, that thought I was geeky, not ‘cool’ enough for them and went of with them. I couldn’t understand it, she just left, left me with no one and what hurt the most was that she didn’t care. She spoke to me like she disliked me, hated me almost and it hurt, because I couldn’t understand why. Thankfully Laura and Justin came to my rescue, but they won’t ever take away those memories. And although, I’m sure, Zayn can handle it – it’s not right to treat someone, how I’ve treated him. It was almost Ok to dislike him when I didn’t know him, he would never have to know or realise why. But that doesn’t give me a right not to, and now that I have a chance, maybe I should take the opportunity to get to know him and maybe then I’ll have a reason to dislike him.

“I’m… I’m sorry for being a bitch.” I said, hoping that maybe, just maybe Zayn and me could be friends. I doubt I will not still find him annoying, arrogant, self-centred, vain, cocky etc. but I could at least try. My opinion hasn’t changed about him, but I hope I won’t have to look at his face, and see the hurt that I once felt there again.

Instead getting a ‘well sorry doesn’t make up for it’ or an ‘I don’t really car’ like I expected, I instead got a laugh and smile.

“Wait, your sorry?” Zayn replied, turning that smile onto his face into a confused look.

“Yes I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it wasn’t meant to be personal or anything. Well, actually it was, I didn’t like you… actually to be honest I still don’t like you,” And I’ve done it again. Made the confused pain in his eyes come back. “But, what I’m trying to say… what I’m trying to say is that, your right, I don’t know you, I have no reason to dislike you and as you’re here enjoying the music that I enjoy, I might as well try at least to get to know you?” I said. God, why do I sound so stupid and I could swear my cheeks are burning up, am I blushing?!

“I don’t see why not, what do you want to know?” Zayn asked, and answered the question in my mind, with a smirk. I was clearly blushing, and he could tell even under the clubs lights.

“Well I don’t know? Maybe start by telling me who you were, before you were ‘Zayn from One Direction’?”

Zayn hesitated for a second; obviously trying to think it through before he answered my question. “I suppose I was your average teenager, actually I barely got out, I was pretty happy being on my own, I had a group of friends I was close to – I wasn’t very popular, and I spent time with the family. And to be honest I don’t think I’m much different; I still like the same things, I still kind of look the same – besides having a different haircut and better dress sense. I know you think I take fame for granted, but trust me I don’t, I love every minute of it, well most of it, besides the early mornings,” Zayn replied, talking very relaxed.

Both of our attentions turned back to Black Night “Ok everybody, this will be our last song of the night, thank you all for coming!”

-o-

“Hey Ella, I hope you got home safely, or that you are safe. I looked for you when I was leaving, but couldn’t see you. Hope you’re Ok and hopefully I’ll see you soon.” I said into the phone, leaving Ella a message. It should probably be worrying me that my friend has disappeared at a nightclub, but this is Ella we’re talking about. She’ll be fine, she does this all the time – going home with random guys she meets. So she’s a bit of a slut, but it isn’t a crime, or a thing to worry about, well it’s a bit worrying, but it’s a personal choice.

When Black Sky, finished Zayn asked if I wanted to go get a coffee. I would love to say that I said yes, because of all the drinks I had, but the only thing I was drinking was the fizzy kind.

It’s funny, because only a few hours ago I was pretty sure I despised Zayn Malik, but now looking at the time I’ve realised I have been talking to him for nearly 2 hours about everything and nothing. I would’ve never thought I would be saying that I have actually had quite a deep conversation with a member from One Direction. I’m not going to be cheesy and say ‘Oh he gets me’ and that ‘I think this is the start of something beautiful’ because trust me I’m not that type of girl. I’m not the type of person who is saying I love someone after knowing them for 2 minutes, nor am I the one doing all the running in a relationship. And really right now I don’t know why I’m even referring to Zayn and me in a ‘relationship’ or talking about relationships, because me and Zayn we’re just friends. I think it would be too big of a leap to go from disliking one another or me disliking him, to actually ‘starting something’ and anyway it wouldn’t matter because I don’t like Zayn like that.

“Wow, I can’t believe we’ve been sitting here talking for 2 hours, I better go,” I say, because although I don’t have to go home to worried parents, I’m starting to freak myself out with how long I’ve been talking to Zayn for. And the fact that I’ve actually enjoyed it.

“Oh ok, do you have a way of getting home?” He asked, surprisingly sounding concerned. Although we have been getting along, I don’t expect him to all of a sudden care.

“Um, yeah I think I’ll be fine,” I say trying to reassure him, although I don’t think he believes me.

“If you want we could share a taxi, at least that way I’ll know you’ll get home safe,” He said, sounding very gentlemenish.

“Yeah, that’ll be great,” I said, as we walked out of the coffee shop. Originally I was meant to be going home with Ella and staying at hers, but now I’m with Zayn. I really haven’t thought this through.

“Where are you two going?” The taxi driver asked as we got in.

“What’s your address?” Zayn asked me. I have two options; 1. brave the raff of my mum, or 2. Try Ella’s house. I guess I don’t have any options really. 

“Can you take us to 23 Walkman drive, please?” Zayn said to the taxi driver. As confused as I am, I’m too tired to care.

“I’m taking it that you were meant to be going to Ella’s, by the look on your face, and as you lost her you can stay at mine tonight,” Zayn said to me, possibly confusing me even more.

“Erm thanks, look I’m really not that sort of girl and…”

“Yeah I know your not, and I’m not the kinda guy to let a girl sleep on the streets,” Zayn said, cutting me off. I gave him a smile, because I’m genuinely touched that he would do that.

-o-

You know those times when you wake up and look around, and think ‘Where the hell am I’ well I was having one of those mornings. My phone alarm woke me up, reminding me that it’s school, but instead of waking up to my dark purple wall, and lying in my comfy double bed, instead I found myself waking up lying on a rather uncomfortable sofa and a power rangers duvet over me. 

Trying to think back to last nights is a bit of a blur, but not a drunken blur, but a totally blanked out blur. The last thing I remember is… oh god, I remember by eyelids getting heavy and then I think I may’ve rested my head on Zayn’s shoulder. And now I’m here, and I presuming this is Zayn’s sofa I am lying on.

I get up to see that I’m wearing a big baggy t-shirt, which I’m guessing is Zayn’s. Did he undress me? Looking at my phone I see that it’s 8:00, my first class starts at 9:30, I have plenty of time to go home and get changed.

“Oh you’re up,” A voice says, confirming whose apartment I’m in.

“Yeah, sorry did my alarm wake you?” I asked, because the look on his face tells me that he doesn’t usually get up at this time.

“No… well yeah kind of, but don’t worry,” He said. I really can’t help noticing that Zayn’s topless and that he’s got a very nice six pack.

“Sorry and I’m so sorry that I completely fell asleep on you,”

“No don’t worry, you very zombie like got out of the taxi and followed me, to be honest it was quite scary,” He said, I’m guessing the smile meant he didn’t mind too much.

Zayn’s apartment is actually very nice, but then he is in pop star. It’s very modern, but almost classy at the same time. The furniture’s sleeks and glossy, everything’s open plan; living room, breakfast bar, kitchen, dining room – making the place kind of like a show home, but that thought’s ruined by the dirty plates, cups etc. in the kitchen and paperwork and stuff in the dining room, and just all round messiness.  

I walk over to a shelf that has many photo frames standing on it; in the pictures I see what I think is Zayn’s family. His family at Christmas, birthdays and just the everyday family life. What I like about the family photos the most is that they all look happy, not the fake smiles my family put on.

“So, this is your family?” I ask, as I see Zayn has also wondered over here. Now, unfortunately wearing a t-shirt.

“Yep,” He replied, looking lost probably in the memories the photos bring him. 

“Do you miss them?” I said, asking another stupid question.

“Almost every second of the day,”

“It must be hard being away from them all the time. I suppose your life really isn’t that easy,” I said, thinking aloud.

“Yeah, but other things make up for that, like you said I’m living the dream,” He replied, with a smirk and a laugh. I smiled as well, happy that I didn’t upset him by mentioning his family, but also because he was smiling.

“So, what do you have for breakfast around here?” I asked, walking over the kitchen.

“I don’t really know, I never have anything in my apartment, Niall always has stuff. But, I can never be bothered to go food shopping,” I open the fridge to see, mayonnaise, leftovers and surprisingly some milk.

“Ah, well at least you have some… Ew, it’s gone off,” I say as I pick up the now curdled milk.

“Well if you want we could go out for breakfast, it’s like what… 9:15 nobodies up,”

“Wait, what? 9:15, I thought it had just turned 8:00?” He cannot be right I’ve got to be at school for 9:30.

“Yeah it’s definitely 9:15,” He said pointing to the clock and holding out his phone, showing that’s 9:15. I look at my phone to see that everything’s reset, including the time, great!

“If you need to get home I could drop you?” He asked, looking kind of hopeful.

“Seriously, you would do that for me, thank you thank you, thank you! I’ll just put on my dress and then can we go?” I asked, running over to the sofa, where my clothes are neatly folded into a cute pile, this definitely wasn’t me!

“What, now?” He asked sounding very shocked. I turn around to see a very shocked Zayn still standing in the kitchen.

“Yes now, now hurry up and get changed. We’ve got to leave in like 2 minutes!” Although Zayn still looked a bit dazed, he obeyed, walking to his room. As soon as he closed the door, I quickly tried to put on the clothes.

Two minutes later Zayn came out of his room, looking very fresh wearing, and is hair in its signature quiffe, seriously how do guys still look good after only having 2 minutes to get ready in?

“Ok, so you’re ready?” He asked, I nod, then practically run to the door. Ten minutes to get to school and have to stop home and get dressed, we’ll be fine, I hope.

-0-

The building’s car park was filled with many flashy cars, that I could only ever dream of owning. Zayn of course walks over to one of the flashiest cars of them all. A Porsche sports car, the type of car that many people would kill to own.

“New car, huh?” I say, as when I got into the car I was overpowered by that new car smell.

“Yeah, just passed my test, so the same house right?”

“Congrats, no my family owns multiple houses in the area, where we live in different ones each day,” I say, hoping he can take the hint on my sarcasm.

“Ok, I’ll just drive.”

In about a minute we were at my house, I hopped out, having explained to Zayn my plan with getting to school. I got out my key, opened the door and had only hoped neither of my parents were in. I guess luck was on my side.

I basically had sprinted up the stairs, ran into my room and pulled various things out of my wardrobe. I ended up putting on a black skater skirt, red blouse with gold buttons, black blazer – rolled up the sleeves on both to make it ¾ length, so you could see the matching red lining on the blazer, put on over the knee socks and slipped on my black heeled ankle boots. I messily put my hair in a fish plait, reapplied my mascaras and quickly applied some lip-gloss. Over all I have to say, I don’t look half bad considering I only got dressed in 5 minutes.

I grabbed my school bag, and ran out of the house, jumping into the car again.

“Wow, you were quick, so to your school then?” He asked, typing the address into his SatNav.

“Yeah, now step on it we have 5 minutes,”

I let out a deep breath thankful we made it in a couple of minutes. Although my relaxation was ruined by the remembrance that almost everyone is standing around in front of the car park and turning up in a Porsche, was going to turn heads. Not to mention the fact that Zayn Malik’s driving the car, although no one will ever have to know that, thanks to the blacked out windows.

“Hey, thanks for the ride and well everything actually. I’m sorry for abut before and I really hope you give me a chance?” I ask, hopeful, but still not looking into his eyes.

“Of course, and Heidi,” He says, making me look up into his eyes, “When I ring you this time, I hope to have find that you’ve given me the right number?” He says smiling. Maybe there could actually be an ‘us’? Wait no, he’s Zayn Malik, how could I ever think that? 

I’m so sorry for those who have been reading that I haven’t updated in so long, but hopefully this really long chapter makes up for it?! I really do apprectiate those people who read and as always I appreciate any kind of feedback good or bad, thank you again, Jasmin xx :)  

Thankyou so much, argh I’m so annoyed with myself I know I barely update and then I say I will and then forget or something goes wrong with my internet, but I’m updating now, I’m sorry for the wait xxx And I really hope people still read?! :) xx

Thank you thank you thank you, I know I said I would update at the weekend, and I didn’t - I’m so sorry to the people who have been reading (hope people are still reading) and how I haven’t updated in so long. I have actually got the next chapter writtern, it’s really long thats why I haven’t updated in a while, but I do need to make some changes to it, but hopefully I will update tomorrow xxx :)

Thank you so so so much, that has seriously made my day. I’ll try and update tomorrow, sorry that I’m so bad at updating, but I do try. And thank you to everyone who’s been reading :) xxx

Chapter 6

Heidi’s POV

“So should I wear my shorts with tights or the dress?” Asked my friend Ella. Ella was a girl who I used to go to secondary school with, but instead of going on to the Sixth Form she went onto college. Although we’re not the best of friends, we share a bond over our love of Black Sky.

“The dress, definitely,” I replied.

“Ohmigod, I just can’t believe we’re going. Tonight. It’s going to be sooo amazing!” Ella gets excited about the littlest of things, but I have to give her permission because this is quite a big night for us. Black Night is a sort of indie band that I’ve practically obsessed over since I was 16. They only ever really play in small venues, so I practically jumped Ella when she said she got tickets. Unfortunately tonight’s a Tuesday and with school the next day, I knew my mum would never be happy, especially that it’s in a club type place. My mums never really excepted that I’m 18 now and actually legally an adult, she still likes to think of me as her ‘little girl,’ she’s always been strict with me about parties, boys etc.; never Scarlet – I think it’s because in my mum and dad’s eyes she the perfect child and could never do wrong by them. So when it comes to things like this, I just don’t tell them.

-o-

“Wow, you look amazing,” Ella, said to me, when I arrived meeting her outside the venue. I looked anything but amazing next to Ella; she was wearing a polka dot dress with a belt, - that complemented her tiny waist, biker jacket – that gave her some edge and some high wedged boots – that made her legs look even longer than they already are. Although I’m happy with what I’m wearing; a black tassel dress, with a denim jacket and my favourite boots, Ella just seems to be able to wear her outfit with confidence and ease.

When we walked into the club it was already packed with people; drinking, dancing, flirting etc. About 30 seconds had passed before Ella had already wondered off, probably to go flirt with some boys. I still have 15 minutes before the band perform; I might as well go get a drink to pass the time.

“Could I have a diet coke please?” I asked the barman, after I had managed to push a few people out of the way to actually get to the bar.

“A diet coke? I forgot how much of a lightweight you were,” Said a familiar voice from behind me. I turn around to face a person that I’ve missed so much and a face that I thought I might never see again.

“Ohmigod, Darren what are you doing here?” I squeal with excitement.

“You know, I was in town and I thought ‘why not go have a drink, relax a bit, but I have to admit I’d never thought I’d see you here,” I wonder if he ever thought he’d see me again? Darren used to be my boyfriend, which was a big thing to me, because I don’t really do boyfriends. We went out for about a year and a half before we broke up. It wasn’t really a horrible break up, we didn’t have any problems, and it was for the best. Darren’s a year older than me, so after he finished with Sixth Form, he headed off to Uni. Our split was a mutual split. He didn’t think it was fair on me if we had a long distance relationship and everyone knew it was surprising for me to have a boyfriend, let alone a long-distance one. We decided that we would be friends, but I think we both doubted we would ever see each other again. I guess we were both wrong.

“Black Night is performing tonight and I couldn’t miss seeing them,” I said, wondering if he remembers my obsession with them.

“You and that band,” He replied laughing, so I guess he does remember. A part of me wonders if he’s got a girlfriend, or had any girlfriends since. It’s not like I would be jealous, I’m just interested. He was the first boy I ever loved and a part of me still loves him, will probably always love him. I don’t long for him anymore, but I do care.

“No wonder it’s so packed in here, lucky I’m still tight with Steve,” He said, making me laugh.

“Your tight with like every security guard in this town,”

“I suppose having a Dad that’s a security guard helps,”

“That’s true, anyway I’m gonna go find my friend, or a place to stand to watch. It’s been great chatting to you,” I say to Darren.

“Yeah, maybe we could meet up for coffee tomorrow, is your number still the same?”

“Yeah it is and that would be great,” I reply, give him a wave and then walk away.

“Oh shit, sorry,” I said, when I accidentally collided into someone. The person had their hood up, so I couldn’t see their face. I swear I recognise that hoddie from somewhere.

“No, don’t worry. It was my fault, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” He could say that again, his face still not looking at me.

“Well, maybe if you put your hood down you’d be able to see,” I said, and then walked away. People like that really annoy me. And what’s with the hood, we’re inside!

-o-

“Hey everyone, we’re Black Night and tonight we will be performing some songs for you!”

I can’t believe I’m finally seeing Black Night perform live. And to top it off I’ve got an amazing view.

“Hey, do you mind if I stand here?” I turn my head to see hood boy from earlier.

“Sure, just make sure you don’t walk into me again,”

“Ah, it’s… it’s you,” Although I’ve been too busy, watching Black Night, hood boys voice catches my attention. It’s the recognition in his voice, but not like your average ‘Oh yeah, I remember you,’ it’s more the ‘Oh, it’s you,’ type, that you say to someone you know and dislike. Many people dislike me, and I can’t blame them, I’m not easy to be around.

“Sorry, do I know you?” I ask, as I still can’t see who hood boy is.

“It’s me,” Hood boy, actually took down his hood to reveal… Zayn Malik!

I swear this boy stalks me; all I wanted to do was enjoy my favourite band in peace.

Zayn’s POV

When I took down my hood, let’s just say Heidi’s face was priceless. I never actually intentionally try to follow Heidi, it’s just nowadays whenever I go somewhere, she seems to be there as well.

“What are you doing here?” Heidi asked, with every bit of accusation in her voice – like she was actually accusing me of following her.

“Sorry, am I not allowed to enjoy another bands music in peace?”

“Wait, you like Black Night?” She asked sounding surprised. Does she think I don’t like any other music other than my own?

“Yeah, they’re one of my favourite bands,” I say and then turn my attention back to them. I’ve realised that with Heidi she’s one of those people that will always only have their minds set on one thing. And in my case that is disliking me. I doubt I’ll change that, I doubt anyone will be able to change her mind, so why try?

I’m so sorry that I haven’t updated in ages I swear I always right this at the end of my chpaters but for once I actually have a couple of chapters already written, so I promise I’ll be updating sooner next time. I really hope people are still reading, and as always feedback appreciated, good or bad :) xx

Thank you so much :) I’ve written half of a new chapter, so hopefully I’ll be updating soon xxx

Thank you so much :) xx